Temporary Itching

Therefore, we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly, we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I apologize if the above verse is not exact on the wording.  Instead of looking it up, I just typed it from memory.  It is a verse that I may have blogged from before, though I don't remember.  It is a verse that I have hidden in my heart through memory and the Holy Spirit stirs up in my thoughts exactly when I need it.

This exact moment is 3:55AM.  Not a time of day that I prefer to be awake.  I am 31 1/2 weeks pregnant.  I have a husband and 4 children in my home to care for and 1 away at college to pray for.  2 of those children in my daily care are the busiest little bees one has ever seen.  They go hard from early until late........ (thank God for nap time in the middle of it all.)  I have no business being awake right now.  I mean, I could argue that I REALLY NEED TO BE ASLEEP.  And I do.  But you see I have this thing...  This is actually really pride swallowing to put this out there...  (I prefer to keep these things private), but perhaps the hour, or exhaustion, or just God himself has brought me to place of being really transparent about it all.  So, back to this thing...  it's a "little" side effect of pregnancy for me.  I've had it every pregnancy.  Back when I was pregnant with Taylor and had it, no one had a clue what it was and basically looked at me like I was nuts.  Now, all these years later, it has an official medical name - Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy, or more commonly just abbreviated to PUPPS.  It's a skin condition that causes ITCHING and it occurs in about 1 out of every 200 pregnancies.  While mine can hit at any time it usually comes on strong at night, sometimes lasting through the night.  I have tried just about every kind of remedy known to man, with little relief.  Sometimes soaking in a hot bath and then slathering up in raw organic coconut oil can bring some minor, temporary relief, but usually I just have to ride it out.  I have researched and spoken with my Dr, but there's really nothing that can be done.  It usually starts in about the 6 month, slow at first and gradually getting worse, until the last couple of weeks I am a clawed up mess.  For whatever reason, this pregnancy it has begun in the 5th month and I am now experiencing what I usually go through in the last several days...  10 WEEKS EARLY!  To help myself, I'm trying to keep my nails cut super short so I don't make it worse than necessary... but I do have some giant scabs up and down my arms where I've just lost control.  It kind of looks like I have some kind of iv drug problem. :(  My sheets and pillow cases have blood stains.  Ugh.

So, this is why I'm awake in the middle of the night.  And this is why I am STANDING on the above verse.  I realize that verse is probably meant to be applied to those suffering far greater than I.  I recognize that I have not fought cancer, or tragically lost a child, or had to watch one of my babies fight cancer (something some of our friends are currently doing right now), or any other things that in my mind to seem to be the worst of the worst.  I'm just itching.  And exhausted.  But in my little world right now it's kind of eating my lunch.  So, I am proclaiming "out loud" to myself, to my family, to anyone who may ever stumble across this blog, and most definitely to Satan--  I will NOT lose heart.  Though outwardly I might be "wasting away", inwardly, I am being renewed day by day.  For this light and momentary trouble is achieving an eternal glory that far outweighs them all (a precious, eternal life!).  So, (enemy - you listen good) I WILL NOT LOSE HEART.  I WILL FIX MY EYES NOT ON THE THINGS THAT ARE TEMPORARY, BUT ON THE THINGS THAT ARE ETERNAL. This precious baby girl growing in my womb is an eternal life... the most valuable gift that God can ever bless us with.  And she is worth every single light and momentary itch.  ;) 

So, I'm off to find the coconut oil again... and maybe catch a nap before the little monkeys wake.  I sooo hope this didn't seem like a whine session (I hate whining, mine or anyone else's).  But maybe, just maybe, this "stand" will bring some relief for a bit.  Either way though, I AM BLESSED.