My little boys have a small obsession with the David and Goliath story. It's the only Bible story they want to read, the only "movie" they want to watch, the only thing they want to "play", and often all they talk about. I suppose this is a good thing. :) After all, David is described as "a man after God's own heart" and the story of him killing the giant is full of rich lessons for our hearts... #1. It doesn't matter how small you are vs how great your enemy seems, with faith in God, you can conquer! #2. God does not always (and actually rarely does) choose the most obvious or expected "hero" to accomplish his purposes. #3. It is possible to be a fierce, passionate, wild at heart warrior and at the same time be an artistic, poetic, tender-hearted lover of God. And I'm sure there are several more points... So, we've been talking about this a lot in our home and elsewhere... Here are some little examples to give you an idea of their obsession.
While in the pool a few days ago, I kept feeling little rocks under my feet. I picked up a few and then asked, "Why are there rocks in the bottom of the pool?" To which Titus quickly replied, "cause we killed Goliaf!" Read 1 Samuel 17 if that doesn't make sense to you.
A couple of weeks ago Joshua was in the living room swinging his little blanket around his head and out flew a tennis ball... It hit Titus right in the forehead, but instead of crying or getting upset, Titus dropped IMMEDIATELY to the floor and played dead. Then Joshua ran around the living room yelling, "I'm a hero! I killed Goliath!".
Last night we're in the checkout at Target and Joshua is chanting (loudly), "I WILL KILL YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD!" It was funny and embarrassing... I mean, what do you say to people? With the world as it is now, people usually frown upon talk of killing. ;) And it's not like we actually encourage killing people, especially in the name of God. We TRY to be law-abiding people. I guess I could've tried to explain it to the confused and slightly rattled college-age checker...but I didn't. I just smiled at Joshua and said, "you go David!".
All that said, it's created some very funny moments, great laughs, sweet memories with my little warrior boys. But as I was sharing some of this with a friend, I was reminded of just how many God loving men in our culture have been encouraged to be wimpy...to be cowardly...to think that peace-making is the same thing as peace-keeping, and to even believe that Jesus was kinda wimpy because he loved children and was willing to minister to women... Oh man... that's all such a lie. Jesus was, is, and will always be the greatest warrior of all time. Revelation 19 says that He will be riding a white horse, have eyes like fire, and a robe dipped in blood. So, William Wallace you can move on over. ;) Without going in to details or drudging up things I'd rather leave in the I HAVE AND WILL FORGIVE column, I have seen FAR TOO MANY church leaders who believe they are being Christ-like when they prefer to count church attendance, balance the budget, and strategize and sit on committees, rather than LEAD the sheep, STAND UP for the weak, or FIGHT for what's Spirit led, rather than sit comfortably in tradition. And this is not just church leaders... how many men in general have we seen refuse to fight for their marriage covenant, fight for the hearts of their children, fight to go God's way and not the world's???
I'm honestly not sure how much can really be done with that mentality in our world today. I don't plan to stand on the street corner and preach this stuff... But what do I plan to do? I plan to raise warrior-men. Men who know how to love graciously, deeply, tenderly AND who also know how to FIGHT, to be passionate, to STAND UP, LEAD, NOT IGNORE INJUSTICE.... men who will believe that if God's on their side, they can KILL the giant. And you can bet, I've taught my daughters to be on the lookout for men like this to marry. ;)
Monday, July 1, 2013
Thursday, June 6, 2013
What I Would Like To Say
I've been wanting to say something like this for a while... Then I discovered this. She says it better than I could've, but I agree with everything she said. Please read and enjoy!
http://www.generationcedar.com/main/2013/01/what-i-would-like-to-say-when-people-make-me-feel-like-a-freak-for-having-children.html
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
The Praiseworthy Deeds of the LORD
Here's the sweet Princess. She was so good through the whole ordeal. And in case you're wondering - yes, God also spared her any illness from that whole event! Whew!
Friday, March 8, 2013
Prayer Time
It's an amazing thing that we can pray to the Father. I mean really, when you think about Jesus dying on the cross and the curtain ripping (Matt. 27:51) so that we have access to the Holy of Holies... That we, in our dirty sin, can just climb up in God's lap... appeal to Him, "touch" Him, worship Him, rest our head on His chest, sing to Him, cry to Him, thank Him, and ask from Him. It's amazing. Really.
I love that we can talk to Him anywhere, anytime. In the shower, in bed, kneeling, standing, driving, etc... We have full access to Him 24/7.
But before I became a mom, never did I imagine just how far down into the humanness (maybe not a word ?):) of our everyday life, does God actually go to hear our hearts... Let me explain.
Troy came home from his work week last night. Lots going on in life as always... Lots of things on our hearts. Serious concerns for others, ourselves, our family, our children. Lots to go to the Father about. So this morning we need to pray................... NO, we do not go lock ourselves in a prayer closet. We don't quietly kneel down in a peaceful room. We don't privately whisper prayers in a secluded place... He and I sat cross- legged on the kitchen floor. Little boys climbing in and out of our laps. There was snot and smooshed bananas, and a diaper that needed changing. We were interrupted several times... and honestly after a while I struggled to even think. We laughed and Troy reminded me that - they-- these precious little ones, who are beautiful and innocent -- they represent the very presence of the Lord in our home.
It may not be what we always thought prayer should look like (who gets to decide that anyway?) and it may not even be what you'd prefer.............. But I'll take it anyday. The love of my life, my husband, protecter, and leader and a couple of our most precious gifts -- entering into the Holy of Holies together. We were heard, healed, answered and blessed. And I think the Father was blessed a little bit too. :)))
I love that we can talk to Him anywhere, anytime. In the shower, in bed, kneeling, standing, driving, etc... We have full access to Him 24/7.
But before I became a mom, never did I imagine just how far down into the humanness (maybe not a word ?):) of our everyday life, does God actually go to hear our hearts... Let me explain.
Troy came home from his work week last night. Lots going on in life as always... Lots of things on our hearts. Serious concerns for others, ourselves, our family, our children. Lots to go to the Father about. So this morning we need to pray................... NO, we do not go lock ourselves in a prayer closet. We don't quietly kneel down in a peaceful room. We don't privately whisper prayers in a secluded place... He and I sat cross- legged on the kitchen floor. Little boys climbing in and out of our laps. There was snot and smooshed bananas, and a diaper that needed changing. We were interrupted several times... and honestly after a while I struggled to even think. We laughed and Troy reminded me that - they-- these precious little ones, who are beautiful and innocent -- they represent the very presence of the Lord in our home.
It may not be what we always thought prayer should look like (who gets to decide that anyway?) and it may not even be what you'd prefer.............. But I'll take it anyday. The love of my life, my husband, protecter, and leader and a couple of our most precious gifts -- entering into the Holy of Holies together. We were heard, healed, answered and blessed. And I think the Father was blessed a little bit too. :)))
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Favorite Thing About Jesus
This is Joshua's "king cobra" look. Wooo, scary!
Look at these beauties... melts my heart!
So, this morning at our devotionals (this is a loose term when you have a 4yo, a 2yo, and a baby around the table) we shared some of our favorite things about Jesus. I have this on my heart a lot lately... maybe with the Easter celebration coming up??? Anyway, I thought it'd be good for us to share this and maybe it would bless Jesus to hear us say aloud some of our favorite things about Him.
Joshua - "my favorite thing about Jesus is how he talks nice."
Mama - "my favorite thing about Jesus is that he LOVES children!"
Bailey - "my favorite thing about Jesus is that he's funny."
Titus - "no thing bout Jesus!" :((( He was pouting for having to sit at the table... He later conceded that it's good that Jesus made elephants. :)
Emily -"my favorite thing about Jesus is that He likes to hang out with us."
Haha! Titus always keeps me on my toes. And I really appreciate toddler honesty. :) But for the record: Jesus, we adore you! You are beautiful and awesome and SO MUCH MORE THAN WE COULD EVER DESERVE. We love you!!!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Catching Up
So I know that I've been away for a while (I probably said exactly that the last time I blogged! :0) but here are some shots to try to catch up a little. This is at the hospital when Abby Joy joined our crazy family! :) We are soooo glad she's here.
Titus turned 2!!!
The Crisis Bread Basket is a place for the less fortunate to get some food when needed. For Joshua's 4th bday, we asked for no gifts for his, but instead - donations to charities. Joshua got to deliver food as well as diapers and baby items to the crisis pregnancy center. It was very special. I look forward to the day when he's old enough to really understand this.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
3 under 3
So there are 3 under 3 in our house. Wish you could see my smile. It's wild, but I'm not complaining. I might be the most blessed woman alive.
Ray Romano (Everybody Loves Raymond) was once asked, "what's it like to have 3 children under 3?" To which he replied,
"It's a lot like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up."
I laugh my head off everytime I think of that because it's pretty true.
But I wouldn't change it.
Can't wait to post some pics of Princess Abby.
Ray Romano (Everybody Loves Raymond) was once asked, "what's it like to have 3 children under 3?" To which he replied,
"It's a lot like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up."
I laugh my head off everytime I think of that because it's pretty true.
But I wouldn't change it.
Can't wait to post some pics of Princess Abby.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Queen For A Day
There are those women who let the housekeeper in in the morning after a long night of uninterrupted sleep, go soak in the tub and dress in extravagant clothing while a cook prepares breakfast and a nanny cares for the children. They then head out for a day of shopping, lunch with friends, and time at the spa. At least I think there are... I don't really know anyone who does this. Maybe it's just in the movies. Seriously though, in real, true, gut-level honesty I don't care to be one of those women. Okay, well maybe on the spa part... ;) I'm a sucker for a massage or a facial...and I like a great pedicure...
Anyway, I really, truly love my life. Every day. I love waking up to care for the most precious houseful of children and being a helper to the most amazing man alive. I don't want a housekeeper (well, once in a while I do) and I definitely like being the one to choose the meal planning and preparations for all the hungry tummies that live here. And you KNOW how I feel about being the ONE person my children spend the most time with. This is an area of fierce jealousy for me... They are MINE and I don't anyone else raising them... Well, unless we're blessed to have Daddy home for the day. But even then, I want to be right there... joining in all the excitement! (Of course I'm not talking about older teens who have part time jobs and outside of home activities occasionally... I'm mostly referring to anybody under 13 or so... you know the ones whose little hearts are still being discipled and trained and who are SO EASILY influenced. And even still, my heart desires for ALL my chicks to be right near my wings whenever it's possible!)
I want to do the work. I do. I know it may sound nuts (certainly next to the world's standards). In fact, I might have to glance back at this in a few weeks to remind myself what I said. But I WANT to be the one up in the quiet of the night nursing my baby. I WANT these privileges that are really only available to me for a small piece of time. When you think of the life span of a woman, the amount of time that she actually has her children in her womb, in her home, close for her to care for -- it's a very small amount of time! I WANT TO BE PRESENT FOR THIS SEASON! (yes, I am shouting... hoping you can hear me!)
But, can I just tell you that on Monday I got to have a "splurge" day. It was really amazing to me. And even now, days later, I'm still feeling the sweetness of it just wash over me. There were 4 big TREATS for me that day.
#1. I had a dr's appt for our sweet Abby girl and Troy and I went alone to the appointment... which means that for several hours (drive time and a few errands added on) we got to just be together. A date with my husband. ahhhh... wish you could hear the deep, contented sigh that just came out of me. It was so nice.
#2. While on this date, while running errands, I got to run (ok, not run - waddle quickly) in and get a pedicure. If you could see how swollen my feet are and how large my tummy is between "me" and my feet, you'd know that this was a much needed, deliciously wonderful treat. It. felt. SO. good! And my toe nails are pretty too! Yipee!
#3. Also during these errands, we stopped by the cleaners and picked up ALL OF TROY'S WORK CLOTHES!!! That's right! For the next couple of weeks I don't have to stand at the hot ironing board and iron!!!! Now, let me be clear. This is usually one of my homemaking chores that I quite like. (I know, I'm kinda weird). I remember my senior year of high school talking with all the girls around me about college, degree plans, future successful careers... I meekly admitted that I just wanted to iron my future husband's shirts and take care of him. Of course they all laughed. But it's no laughing matter. God had planted a seed in my heart for homemaking waaay back then. Somehow in my young and immature teenage girl brain, I understood the glory and privilege of being a wife and a helper to a husband. Thank you Jesus for working in me - even then. ...........Okay, back to my point though - ironing is not so much fun when you are full term prego, hot ALL THE TIME, and did I mention that my feet and ankles are the size of watermelons? So the fact that my hubby removed this chore from my list to give me a break... just might be the most romantic thing he's ever done! ;)
#4. And last but not least, my friend Sarah cooked supper for us. Baked chicken, veggies, cream corn, and BROWNIES! I probably don't have to explain or elaborate on how this blessed me. It was just so nice to have the break from the kitchen, but still get to eat healthy, delicious food! Thank you Sarah! And YUM!
So, yes. For just one day I had so many sweet little blessings that I felt as though I was queen for the day. I am grateful to Troy and Sarah for these gifts... but no matter how small these things may seem to some, I take the time to bend my knee in gratitude to the ONE who knows just when Mama needs a little break and some TLC.
Anyway, I really, truly love my life. Every day. I love waking up to care for the most precious houseful of children and being a helper to the most amazing man alive. I don't want a housekeeper (well, once in a while I do) and I definitely like being the one to choose the meal planning and preparations for all the hungry tummies that live here. And you KNOW how I feel about being the ONE person my children spend the most time with. This is an area of fierce jealousy for me... They are MINE and I don't anyone else raising them... Well, unless we're blessed to have Daddy home for the day. But even then, I want to be right there... joining in all the excitement! (Of course I'm not talking about older teens who have part time jobs and outside of home activities occasionally... I'm mostly referring to anybody under 13 or so... you know the ones whose little hearts are still being discipled and trained and who are SO EASILY influenced. And even still, my heart desires for ALL my chicks to be right near my wings whenever it's possible!)
I want to do the work. I do. I know it may sound nuts (certainly next to the world's standards). In fact, I might have to glance back at this in a few weeks to remind myself what I said. But I WANT to be the one up in the quiet of the night nursing my baby. I WANT these privileges that are really only available to me for a small piece of time. When you think of the life span of a woman, the amount of time that she actually has her children in her womb, in her home, close for her to care for -- it's a very small amount of time! I WANT TO BE PRESENT FOR THIS SEASON! (yes, I am shouting... hoping you can hear me!)
But, can I just tell you that on Monday I got to have a "splurge" day. It was really amazing to me. And even now, days later, I'm still feeling the sweetness of it just wash over me. There were 4 big TREATS for me that day.
#1. I had a dr's appt for our sweet Abby girl and Troy and I went alone to the appointment... which means that for several hours (drive time and a few errands added on) we got to just be together. A date with my husband. ahhhh... wish you could hear the deep, contented sigh that just came out of me. It was so nice.
#2. While on this date, while running errands, I got to run (ok, not run - waddle quickly) in and get a pedicure. If you could see how swollen my feet are and how large my tummy is between "me" and my feet, you'd know that this was a much needed, deliciously wonderful treat. It. felt. SO. good! And my toe nails are pretty too! Yipee!
#3. Also during these errands, we stopped by the cleaners and picked up ALL OF TROY'S WORK CLOTHES!!! That's right! For the next couple of weeks I don't have to stand at the hot ironing board and iron!!!! Now, let me be clear. This is usually one of my homemaking chores that I quite like. (I know, I'm kinda weird). I remember my senior year of high school talking with all the girls around me about college, degree plans, future successful careers... I meekly admitted that I just wanted to iron my future husband's shirts and take care of him. Of course they all laughed. But it's no laughing matter. God had planted a seed in my heart for homemaking waaay back then. Somehow in my young and immature teenage girl brain, I understood the glory and privilege of being a wife and a helper to a husband. Thank you Jesus for working in me - even then. ...........Okay, back to my point though - ironing is not so much fun when you are full term prego, hot ALL THE TIME, and did I mention that my feet and ankles are the size of watermelons? So the fact that my hubby removed this chore from my list to give me a break... just might be the most romantic thing he's ever done! ;)
#4. And last but not least, my friend Sarah cooked supper for us. Baked chicken, veggies, cream corn, and BROWNIES! I probably don't have to explain or elaborate on how this blessed me. It was just so nice to have the break from the kitchen, but still get to eat healthy, delicious food! Thank you Sarah! And YUM!
So, yes. For just one day I had so many sweet little blessings that I felt as though I was queen for the day. I am grateful to Troy and Sarah for these gifts... but no matter how small these things may seem to some, I take the time to bend my knee in gratitude to the ONE who knows just when Mama needs a little break and some TLC.
Monday, September 24, 2012
The Right To Bear (Clean) Arms
It's Monday morning, and one of my first tasks of the new week is to get the laundry going. (As if it doesn't have to "go" all the time!) I got up, had some snuggles with my littles, got to spend a little time with Jesus and his Word (loving my new Beth Moore study of the book of Daniel) and then it's time to start breakfast and get that laundry beast going.
So, the morning goes forward, school prep, breakfast, chores, little boy fun AND discipline, etc.. and then I go to my washer to move the load over to the dryer and as I'm transferring the sheets and blankets (all tee teed on last night) I find - not one, not two, not three, BUT FOUR toy guns all wrapped up in the load of laundry. Two nerf guns, two water guns. How did these weapons end up in the washing machine you ask? I'll give you two guesses. Well, really just one because one of them can't reach that high yet... ;)
Oh.... the fun times just never end. Some people whine, gripe, mourn and wail over it being a Monday morning... Not at our house. Let the good times roll.
And we have some clean guns. ;)
So, the morning goes forward, school prep, breakfast, chores, little boy fun AND discipline, etc.. and then I go to my washer to move the load over to the dryer and as I'm transferring the sheets and blankets (all tee teed on last night) I find - not one, not two, not three, BUT FOUR toy guns all wrapped up in the load of laundry. Two nerf guns, two water guns. How did these weapons end up in the washing machine you ask? I'll give you two guesses. Well, really just one because one of them can't reach that high yet... ;)
Oh.... the fun times just never end. Some people whine, gripe, mourn and wail over it being a Monday morning... Not at our house. Let the good times roll.
And we have some clean guns. ;)
Monday, August 27, 2012
Home with My Chicks
Really and truly I am not an anti-public school homeschooler. While there are many fabulous reasons that I LOVE that we homeschool, I do not hate the public school, nor anyone who learns there or works there. I love MANY that are a part of the government system and I pray God blesses and protects them.
But, can I just say for a minute that I LOVE THAT WE HOMESCHOOL?!!!! :) I'm watching all over Bailey Jo's Facebook at all the status' of school starting everywhere... kids heading off to class and teachers heading off to work. And. I'm. so. happy. my. little. chicks. are. with. me. today. There are sooo many beautiful benefits and blessings of homeschooling, but without a doubt my favorite one is that MY children are with ME!and not in the care of others, especially strangers. :)))
My big chick started class today at McMurry University and I can hardly wait for his call later to tell us how it went.
Gotta run and enjoy the blessing of my chores. ;)
Will try to post some pics soon!
But, can I just say for a minute that I LOVE THAT WE HOMESCHOOL?!!!! :) I'm watching all over Bailey Jo's Facebook at all the status' of school starting everywhere... kids heading off to class and teachers heading off to work. And. I'm. so. happy. my. little. chicks. are. with. me. today. There are sooo many beautiful benefits and blessings of homeschooling, but without a doubt my favorite one is that MY children are with ME!and not in the care of others, especially strangers. :)))
My big chick started class today at McMurry University and I can hardly wait for his call later to tell us how it went.
Gotta run and enjoy the blessing of my chores. ;)
Will try to post some pics soon!
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Temporary Itching
Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly, we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
I apologize if the above verse is not exact on the wording. Instead of looking it up, I just typed it from memory. It is a verse that I may have blogged from before, though I don't remember. It is a verse that I have hidden in my heart through memory and the Holy Spirit stirs up in my thoughts exactly when I need it.
This exact moment is 3:55AM. Not a time of day that I prefer to be awake. I am 31 1/2 weeks pregnant. I have a husband and 4 children in my home to care for and 1 away at college to pray for. 2 of those children in my daily care are the busiest little bees one has ever seen. They go hard from early until late........ (thank God for nap time in the middle of it all.) I have no business being awake right now. I mean, I could argue that I REALLY NEED TO BE ASLEEP. And I do. But you see I have this thing... This is actually really pride swallowing to put this out there... (I prefer to keep these things private), but perhaps the hour, or exhaustion, or just God himself has brought me to place of being really transparent about it all. So, back to this thing... it's a "little" side effect of pregnancy for me. I've had it every pregnancy. Back when I was pregnant with Taylor and had it, no one had a clue what it was and basically looked at me like I was nuts. Now, all these years later, it has an official medical name - Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy, or more commonly just abbreviated to PUPPS. It's a skin condition that causes ITCHING and it occurs in about 1 out of every 200 pregnancies. While mine can hit at any time it usually comes on strong at night, sometimes lasting through the night. I have tried just about every kind of remedy known to man, with little relief. Sometimes soaking in a hot bath and then slathering up in raw organic coconut oil can bring some minor, temporary relief, but usually I just have to ride it out. I have researched and spoken with my Dr, but there's really nothing that can be done. It usually starts in about the 6 month, slow at first and gradually getting worse, until the last couple of weeks I am a clawed up mess. For whatever reason, this pregnancy it has begun in the 5th month and I am now experiencing what I usually go through in the last several days... 10 WEEKS EARLY! To help myself, I'm trying to keep my nails cut super short so I don't make it worse than necessary... but I do have some giant scabs up and down my arms where I've just lost control. It kind of looks like I have some kind of iv drug problem. :( My sheets and pillow cases have blood stains. Ugh.
So, this is why I'm awake in the middle of the night. And this is why I am STANDING on the above verse. I realize that verse is probably meant to be applied to those suffering far greater than I. I recognize that I have not fought cancer, or tragically lost a child, or had to watch one of my babies fight cancer (something some of our friends are currently doing right now), or any other things that in my mind to seem to be the worst of the worst. I'm just itching. And exhausted. But in my little world right now it's kind of eating my lunch. So, I am proclaiming "out loud" to myself, to my family, to anyone who may ever stumble across this blog, and most definitely to Satan-- I will NOT lose heart. Though outwardly I might be "wasting away", inwardly, I am being renewed day by day. For this light and momentary trouble is achieving an eternal glory that far outweighs them all (a precious, eternal life!). So, (enemy - you listen good) I WILL NOT LOSE HEART. I WILL FIX MY EYES NOT ON THE THINGS THAT ARE TEMPORARY, BUT ON THE THINGS THAT ARE ETERNAL. This precious baby girl growing in my womb is an eternal life... the most valuable gift that God can ever bless us with. And she is worth every single light and momentary itch. ;)
So, I'm off to find the coconut oil again... and maybe catch a nap before the little monkeys wake. I sooo hope this didn't seem like a whine session (I hate whining, mine or anyone else's). But maybe, just maybe, this "stand" will bring some relief for a bit. Either way though, I AM BLESSED.
I apologize if the above verse is not exact on the wording. Instead of looking it up, I just typed it from memory. It is a verse that I may have blogged from before, though I don't remember. It is a verse that I have hidden in my heart through memory and the Holy Spirit stirs up in my thoughts exactly when I need it.
This exact moment is 3:55AM. Not a time of day that I prefer to be awake. I am 31 1/2 weeks pregnant. I have a husband and 4 children in my home to care for and 1 away at college to pray for. 2 of those children in my daily care are the busiest little bees one has ever seen. They go hard from early until late........ (thank God for nap time in the middle of it all.) I have no business being awake right now. I mean, I could argue that I REALLY NEED TO BE ASLEEP. And I do. But you see I have this thing... This is actually really pride swallowing to put this out there... (I prefer to keep these things private), but perhaps the hour, or exhaustion, or just God himself has brought me to place of being really transparent about it all. So, back to this thing... it's a "little" side effect of pregnancy for me. I've had it every pregnancy. Back when I was pregnant with Taylor and had it, no one had a clue what it was and basically looked at me like I was nuts. Now, all these years later, it has an official medical name - Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy, or more commonly just abbreviated to PUPPS. It's a skin condition that causes ITCHING and it occurs in about 1 out of every 200 pregnancies. While mine can hit at any time it usually comes on strong at night, sometimes lasting through the night. I have tried just about every kind of remedy known to man, with little relief. Sometimes soaking in a hot bath and then slathering up in raw organic coconut oil can bring some minor, temporary relief, but usually I just have to ride it out. I have researched and spoken with my Dr, but there's really nothing that can be done. It usually starts in about the 6 month, slow at first and gradually getting worse, until the last couple of weeks I am a clawed up mess. For whatever reason, this pregnancy it has begun in the 5th month and I am now experiencing what I usually go through in the last several days... 10 WEEKS EARLY! To help myself, I'm trying to keep my nails cut super short so I don't make it worse than necessary... but I do have some giant scabs up and down my arms where I've just lost control. It kind of looks like I have some kind of iv drug problem. :( My sheets and pillow cases have blood stains. Ugh.
So, this is why I'm awake in the middle of the night. And this is why I am STANDING on the above verse. I realize that verse is probably meant to be applied to those suffering far greater than I. I recognize that I have not fought cancer, or tragically lost a child, or had to watch one of my babies fight cancer (something some of our friends are currently doing right now), or any other things that in my mind to seem to be the worst of the worst. I'm just itching. And exhausted. But in my little world right now it's kind of eating my lunch. So, I am proclaiming "out loud" to myself, to my family, to anyone who may ever stumble across this blog, and most definitely to Satan-- I will NOT lose heart. Though outwardly I might be "wasting away", inwardly, I am being renewed day by day. For this light and momentary trouble is achieving an eternal glory that far outweighs them all (a precious, eternal life!). So, (enemy - you listen good) I WILL NOT LOSE HEART. I WILL FIX MY EYES NOT ON THE THINGS THAT ARE TEMPORARY, BUT ON THE THINGS THAT ARE ETERNAL. This precious baby girl growing in my womb is an eternal life... the most valuable gift that God can ever bless us with. And she is worth every single light and momentary itch. ;)
So, I'm off to find the coconut oil again... and maybe catch a nap before the little monkeys wake. I sooo hope this didn't seem like a whine session (I hate whining, mine or anyone else's). But maybe, just maybe, this "stand" will bring some relief for a bit. Either way though, I AM BLESSED.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Bittersweet
Yes, I know it's been a while... again! But for those of you who harass me about not writing, PLEASE! Sometimes I have to actually LIVE in these blessings I write about. ;P And sometimes I'm just a little bit overwhelmed with my life. Not complaining. Just dead honest.
Anyway, back to my chosen title. Bittersweet. Here's what the dictionary says,
[adj. bit-er-sweet, bit-er-sweet; n. bit-er-sweet] Show IPA
Anyway, back to my chosen title. Bittersweet. Here's what the dictionary says,
bit·ter·sweet
[adj. bit-er-sweet, bit-er-sweet; n. bit-er-sweet] Show IPA
adjective
2.
both pleasant and painful or regretful: a bittersweet memory
It is the most accurate way to describe my most recent life experiences and those of our family household. Both BITTER and SWEET. Both PLEASANT and PAINFUL.
My big boy has grown up and moved on. We knew it was coming. We planned for it's coming. We'd even hoped and prayed for it's coming... But honey, let me tell you something. That DOES NOT make it easier.
I have never felt such mixed emotions in all of my life. Thrilled, yet shattered. Wanting to squeal, then sob. Dance and praise before the Father... and kneel in brokenness at His feet... Whew! What a ride. Yeah.... and throw in some prego hormones and I could probably be admitted into a psych ward.
Some don't understand... It's not that I'll miss him (though I will) or that we just won't see each other that often (though we won't). It's that it will never be the same again! This season, this chapter, this part of his life... the one where Mama is actually really needed... will never be the same again. Now I know that he'll always need me. But let's be honest, it's different. He is a grown man now, pursuing his dreams and goals. And I am the woman who spent almost every single day of his life (minus about 4 years, kinder-2 and an extra senior yr) training, correcting, cheering, discipling, talking (sometimes loudly), reading aloud, memorizing scripture with, disagreeing with, researching with, sometimes crying with, and usually laughing with. We have climbed the mountains together and we've definitely seen the valley together too. This is the kid that was born to me as I was still having to grow up... So bless him, he's been the one that had to deal the most with all my imperfections as a Mama. I carried him in my womb for almost 42 weeks. I labored for almost 18 hours to bring him into the world. I pushed for 4 hours and he broke his collarbone making his entrance. I have always stayed at home to care for him. Sometimes with great financial sacrifice, sometimes in the face of others' disapproval. We began homeschooling him in the 3rd grade. We have been together most days of the week, most weeks of the years, most years of his life for 19 and 1/2 years. I have hurt him, wounded him, discouraged him, and made him just a little bit (ha!) angry a few times. I have repented, and repented, and repented. And he has forgiven, and forgiven, and forgiven. I am the Mama. He is the firstborn son. We have a bond that is extraordinary. So... saying goodbye hurts.
I'll admit though that I began this grieving process months ago. Here and there a few tears leaked down my face... So I have not had a torrential downpour, but just moments that I've had to ask the Father for some MORE grace to endure it and keep smiling. I have not been caught off guard by my own pain. But I WAS caught off guard by the pain of the precious other ones. Our very last Family Worship time with all of us around the table, eating, laughing, sharing, taking communion, and yes, crying our words of blessing over Taylor. I knew my big girls (his little sisters) would feel sad, and I knew his Daddy would have a moment (or 2) that might bring him to his knees, but I did not expect the gut-wrenching moment of Taylor and Joshua saying goodbye... both with hands on each side of the others' face, both with tears spilling over... UGH. There's just no getting around that one.
Bitter. And sweet. Bitter because it hurts. Sweet for 2 reasons. #1,We are over-the-top, thrilled, squealing, jumping up and down, shout for joy, praising God, EXCITED for this big boy! Wooohooo! How wonderful that God's plans and dreams for him are moving forward! And reason #2 is that I would be devastated if we lived in a family that cared any less for each other than ours does. I mean, if you are bonded with the love and blood of Jesus, and you are a healthy, strong family, AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE SAD TO SAY GOODBYE?! I left him in a dorm full of college football players last Friday and I wondered... how many of those young men aren't sad at all to leave their families behind? And how many family members aren't all that sad to see them go? So, I say, THANK YOU JESUS for this sob that's welling up my throat as I say goodbye to the end of an era. Our family adores our Big Boy. We will miss him. Now.... the fridge and the pantry are actually full... and that's kinda nice. ;)
Monday, March 19, 2012
My Servant Girl - The Dryer
Wonderful things are happening in my life around here... My husband has found a way to make my dryer ACTUALLY DRY!!! Now, some may think that this is a small thing, but let me tell you - if you have 5 children, 2 of which are hard at play, dirty little boys and one who is a giant, hard at play (well, actually hard at work preparing for college football - and a little hunting in there too ;)) and you have the amount of laundry that we do, then you know just what a thrill this is!
Honestly, I could throw a party it's so wonderful. :))) For the past 3 1/2 years we've had a dryer that didn't really dry very well... You'd have to hang up about 1/2 the load on drying racks or the back porch and even then you'd have to run the dryer 2 or even 3 times just to get 1/2 of the load dry!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Talk about frustrating! It's been almost impossible to keep up. But, like I said, my sweet hubbie has once again arrived in his armor and rescued me! And now that I have this lovely little dryer working... it's like having a servant girl here to help me with my laundry. ;) I AM ZIPPING THROUGH LOADS OF LAUNDRY!!! Woohoo!!! Can I get an Amen?!
A long time ago my precious friend (hi Gwynie Pie) once made the analogy that the Proverbs 31 woman's servant girls (vs. 15) are now our modern day appliances - washers, dryers, dishwashers, ovens, etc... And I'd have to agree. This working dryer is making me so much more capable of serving my family. I feel empowered! Speaking of that........ gotta go switch the loads! :D Have a great day!
Honestly, I could throw a party it's so wonderful. :))) For the past 3 1/2 years we've had a dryer that didn't really dry very well... You'd have to hang up about 1/2 the load on drying racks or the back porch and even then you'd have to run the dryer 2 or even 3 times just to get 1/2 of the load dry!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Talk about frustrating! It's been almost impossible to keep up. But, like I said, my sweet hubbie has once again arrived in his armor and rescued me! And now that I have this lovely little dryer working... it's like having a servant girl here to help me with my laundry. ;) I AM ZIPPING THROUGH LOADS OF LAUNDRY!!! Woohoo!!! Can I get an Amen?!
A long time ago my precious friend (hi Gwynie Pie) once made the analogy that the Proverbs 31 woman's servant girls (vs. 15) are now our modern day appliances - washers, dryers, dishwashers, ovens, etc... And I'd have to agree. This working dryer is making me so much more capable of serving my family. I feel empowered! Speaking of that........ gotta go switch the loads! :D Have a great day!
Monday, March 12, 2012
Meat To Chew On.......Part 2
Yesterday I posted a chunk of verses that I've been working through/meditating on lately and I really wanted to share some things that God is showing me, but as usual, Titus was climbing all over me and we were in a rush to prepare for church........... so, I just left it with the verse. Which of course is plenty. God's word is alive and active and really doesn't need my help. ;)
But of course, as it goes with me, these verses are still settling deep into my heart and I can't seem to think of much else. So, while I'd like to take it all apart for you and share - once again my mama duties call - so I will quickly hit the highlights. This is my Reader's Digest version of things that God is showing me.
I love that at the end of vs 3 it says that he called us by his own glory and goodness. All of my relationship with him should be framed with this - his glory and goodness. It would change how I look at everything.
Vs. 4 talks about his "very great and precious promises".......... it'd be amazing to make a list of those... and it says that through those "very great and precious promises" we can participate in the divine nature- this is the SUPER NATURAL!!! How exciting is that?! We can escape the world's corruption and participate the in the super natural things that God is doing... WOOHOO. If that doesn't get you excited, you need to check for a pulse!
In the next few verses is a list of qualities that we need in increasing measure so that we can be effective and productive in our knowledge of Jesus. Oh - I so don't want to waste my life. I want every moment of every day to be effective and productive - in my own growth, in my marriage, in my mothering, in my witness to the lost, in my encouragement to the body of Christ....
But the number one highlight is SO SIMPLE. It's at the beginning of verse 3............... HIS DIVINE POWER HAS GIVEN US EVERYTHING WE NEED FOR LIFE... Of course it goes on a bit, but what if we just meditated on that little chunk? God has given us everything we need for life. Everything.
I think of the list that I can sometimes make -
Oh how will I ever have enough ___________?
What if I don't know ____________?
I just can't ___________.
I'm not good enough, mature enough, smart enough, capable enough to _____________.
What if _______________?
and on and on and on....
But he says - HIS DIVINE POWER HAS GIVEN ME EVERYTHING I NEED FOR LIFE. HE - (God) - has the power to give EVERYTHING I NEED. EVERYTHING. FOR MY LIFE. My life means - all of it. Not just a portion. Not just spiritual matters. Everything. All my financial concerns, my desperate need for organization, my need to love, forgive, encourage, and cheer on my husband and children. My need to eat healthier. My need home school my children well. My need to know the right priorities of every day. My need to heal from past wounds. And it could go on and on. I need a lot and HE gives me everything I need. Hallelujah.
So here is the challenge for me and for you: If God calls us to do something, do we do the responsible and reasonable thing? Do we make a list of pros and cons and wrestle with it? Do we compare it to the cultural norm and realize how ridiculous it would be? Do we run because of the discomfort it would cause us? (hmmm, that's a good one) OR do we follow hard after Him, full of faith and trust in Him because HIS DIVINE POWER HAS GIVEN US EVERYTHING WE NEED FOR LIFE??? The bottom line is - do we believe God?
But of course, as it goes with me, these verses are still settling deep into my heart and I can't seem to think of much else. So, while I'd like to take it all apart for you and share - once again my mama duties call - so I will quickly hit the highlights. This is my Reader's Digest version of things that God is showing me.
I love that at the end of vs 3 it says that he called us by his own glory and goodness. All of my relationship with him should be framed with this - his glory and goodness. It would change how I look at everything.
Vs. 4 talks about his "very great and precious promises".......... it'd be amazing to make a list of those... and it says that through those "very great and precious promises" we can participate in the divine nature- this is the SUPER NATURAL!!! How exciting is that?! We can escape the world's corruption and participate the in the super natural things that God is doing... WOOHOO. If that doesn't get you excited, you need to check for a pulse!
In the next few verses is a list of qualities that we need in increasing measure so that we can be effective and productive in our knowledge of Jesus. Oh - I so don't want to waste my life. I want every moment of every day to be effective and productive - in my own growth, in my marriage, in my mothering, in my witness to the lost, in my encouragement to the body of Christ....
But the number one highlight is SO SIMPLE. It's at the beginning of verse 3............... HIS DIVINE POWER HAS GIVEN US EVERYTHING WE NEED FOR LIFE... Of course it goes on a bit, but what if we just meditated on that little chunk? God has given us everything we need for life. Everything.
I think of the list that I can sometimes make -
Oh how will I ever have enough ___________?
What if I don't know ____________?
I just can't ___________.
I'm not good enough, mature enough, smart enough, capable enough to _____________.
What if _______________?
and on and on and on....
But he says - HIS DIVINE POWER HAS GIVEN ME EVERYTHING I NEED FOR LIFE. HE - (God) - has the power to give EVERYTHING I NEED. EVERYTHING. FOR MY LIFE. My life means - all of it. Not just a portion. Not just spiritual matters. Everything. All my financial concerns, my desperate need for organization, my need to love, forgive, encourage, and cheer on my husband and children. My need to eat healthier. My need home school my children well. My need to know the right priorities of every day. My need to heal from past wounds. And it could go on and on. I need a lot and HE gives me everything I need. Hallelujah.
So here is the challenge for me and for you: If God calls us to do something, do we do the responsible and reasonable thing? Do we make a list of pros and cons and wrestle with it? Do we compare it to the cultural norm and realize how ridiculous it would be? Do we run because of the discomfort it would cause us? (hmmm, that's a good one) OR do we follow hard after Him, full of faith and trust in Him because HIS DIVINE POWER HAS GIVEN US EVERYTHING WE NEED FOR LIFE??? The bottom line is - do we believe God?
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Meat To Chew On
1 Peter 1:3-9
His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you posses these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. (italics mine)
His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you posses these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. (italics mine)
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Extravagant Grace
There have been several times in my life when EXTRAVAGANT GRACE has washed over me....
You know those times when you realize what Jesus has done for you... when you realize what you've been saved from... or what you've been saved for? .... That the Creator of the heavens and the earth has reached down from glory to touch you? You... little ole you? Do you understand what I'm saying? At these times God moves me from first jumping up and down in praise and adoration of Him to the floor... my face in the carpet, sobs wracking my body. It's a goodness and a sweetness that's so rich it kind of hurts... Do you know what I mean? It's like there isn't one cell of my body that's unaware of the fullness and the glory of my God. It makes me think of Isaiah's encounter with God in Isaiah chapter 6. God is amazing and powerful and I am just so small... and yet, he finds me, knows me, loves me, graces me. Wow.
Well, that is what I'm feeling today as I share with you that I have had a visitation from the Holy Spirit... He has come to me... to my body. Making a miracle. He has created LIFE again in my womb. I am so happy that I want to shout it from the roof tops.... and sob on the floor. Who am I? Really............ who am I that He would look on me with such favor?
Do you realize that only 4 1/2 years ago I was a barren woman? And now, to be blessed again.... Wow.... God you are awesome. I am due to have our 6th baby in late October. :))) It has been so fun to share the news, especially with our big kids who are delighted. Thank you Lord for filling our quiver... not only a blessing, but an answered prayer for sooo many years. You are a faithful God.
"He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD" Psalm 113:9
You know those times when you realize what Jesus has done for you... when you realize what you've been saved from... or what you've been saved for? .... That the Creator of the heavens and the earth has reached down from glory to touch you? You... little ole you? Do you understand what I'm saying? At these times God moves me from first jumping up and down in praise and adoration of Him to the floor... my face in the carpet, sobs wracking my body. It's a goodness and a sweetness that's so rich it kind of hurts... Do you know what I mean? It's like there isn't one cell of my body that's unaware of the fullness and the glory of my God. It makes me think of Isaiah's encounter with God in Isaiah chapter 6. God is amazing and powerful and I am just so small... and yet, he finds me, knows me, loves me, graces me. Wow.
Well, that is what I'm feeling today as I share with you that I have had a visitation from the Holy Spirit... He has come to me... to my body. Making a miracle. He has created LIFE again in my womb. I am so happy that I want to shout it from the roof tops.... and sob on the floor. Who am I? Really............ who am I that He would look on me with such favor?
Do you realize that only 4 1/2 years ago I was a barren woman? And now, to be blessed again.... Wow.... God you are awesome. I am due to have our 6th baby in late October. :))) It has been so fun to share the news, especially with our big kids who are delighted. Thank you Lord for filling our quiver... not only a blessing, but an answered prayer for sooo many years. You are a faithful God.
"He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD" Psalm 113:9
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Little Lamb
Joshua has a new name for Titus. Every time he says it, my eyes fill with tears.
Little Lamb.
Isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard?
He says, "Titus is my Wittle Wamb".
When Titus was born I made up a little song to sing over him. I know it may seem silly, but I believe that God sings over us (Zeph 3), so we should in turn sing over our babies. The good thing about that is that they have no idea how horribly I sing. Since I'm the Mama, they love my singing. Ha!
Anyway, here's my song for Baby Titus:
(to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star)
Titus, Titus, Little Lamb
One day you'll be a mighty man.
Big and strong and brave you'll be,
A soldier in the Lord's Army.
Titus Titus, Little Lamb
One day you'll be a mighty man.
No making fun! :) So.............. yeah, it's nothing fancy or very clever or beautiful... but it's my prayer for him. So I declare it over him every day. And obviously, big brother has adopted the sweet new name for him too. :)))
Oh, and by the way - Titus can say JESUS. Tonight we were practicing everyone's name and I said, "Titus, can you say Jesus?" and he just belted it out! No greater name, no sweeter name, the name above all names. The name that every knee will bow to and every tongue confess. The name that heals, protects, restores, and sets free. The name that gives life. The name. The only name. As much as I love to hear your little voice say "Mama".......... it doesn't even compare to how much I love to hear you say Jesus.
Oh Baby Titus, choose Jesus just as soon as you can Baby. That's your mama's prayer.
Little Lamb.
Isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard?
He says, "Titus is my Wittle Wamb".
When Titus was born I made up a little song to sing over him. I know it may seem silly, but I believe that God sings over us (Zeph 3), so we should in turn sing over our babies. The good thing about that is that they have no idea how horribly I sing. Since I'm the Mama, they love my singing. Ha!
Anyway, here's my song for Baby Titus:
(to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star)
Titus, Titus, Little Lamb
One day you'll be a mighty man.
Big and strong and brave you'll be,
A soldier in the Lord's Army.
Titus Titus, Little Lamb
One day you'll be a mighty man.
No making fun! :) So.............. yeah, it's nothing fancy or very clever or beautiful... but it's my prayer for him. So I declare it over him every day. And obviously, big brother has adopted the sweet new name for him too. :)))
Oh, and by the way - Titus can say JESUS. Tonight we were practicing everyone's name and I said, "Titus, can you say Jesus?" and he just belted it out! No greater name, no sweeter name, the name above all names. The name that every knee will bow to and every tongue confess. The name that heals, protects, restores, and sets free. The name that gives life. The name. The only name. As much as I love to hear your little voice say "Mama".......... it doesn't even compare to how much I love to hear you say Jesus.
Oh Baby Titus, choose Jesus just as soon as you can Baby. That's your mama's prayer.
Bustin Outta Here!
So I think the little boys were happy to see the sun shining after all the rainy cold days in a row... so they decided to make an escape. Right through my window screen!!!
TITUS - "FREEDOM!!! (imagine Braveheart) Let's go brother!"
TITUS - "FREEDOM!!! (imagine Braveheart) Let's go brother!"JOSHUA - "I don't know Titus... it looks fun, but I don't know..."
TITUS - "Let's see, no one's looking... maybe if I just lean out a little."
TITUS - "Let's see, no one's looking... maybe if I just lean out a little."JOSHUA - "Mmm, this is a good banana. I'm gonna wait to see if Titus gets busted."
Titus - "It's now or never. I'm going for it! I pulled more of the screen back so you can fit too."
Titus - "It's now or never. I'm going for it! I pulled more of the screen back so you can fit too."Joshua - "You have fun Tunky. I think I'll sit this one out."
Monday, February 20, 2012
Emily Ann's Little Women
Emily Ann is in our local theatre (Emily Ann Theatre - cool huh?!) production Little Women. She hates this picture, but of course I think it's adorable! ;)
She has so enjoyed working with all of these wonderful people. Every practice and every show has ended with her in high spirits and kind things to say about everyone in the show.
Emily is playing the role of the Amy when she's older. This is her posing with younger Amy (whom she adores!)
I'm so stinking proud of my girl! I'm proud that she's so kind, so strong, so beautiful, so talented, so...........precious to our family. I'm proud that she's okay with being a little different than the rest of us. We tease her endlessly about not being athletic like the majority of our family. The truth is, she is athletic (she used to run, swim, dance, etc...), she's just not super competitive (unless we're playing scrabble). My girl's passions and gifts are not wrapped up in sports... She loves books, theatre, music, art, the library, museums, worshipping God, and all things creative. She's................. different. And I LOVE IT!!! I celebrate it! Go Emily!!! You are amazing girl!
She has so enjoyed working with all of these wonderful people. Every practice and every show has ended with her in high spirits and kind things to say about everyone in the show.
Emily is playing the role of the Amy when she's older. This is her posing with younger Amy (whom she adores!) 
I'm so stinking proud of my girl! I'm proud that she's so kind, so strong, so beautiful, so talented, so...........precious to our family. I'm proud that she's okay with being a little different than the rest of us. We tease her endlessly about not being athletic like the majority of our family. The truth is, she is athletic (she used to run, swim, dance, etc...), she's just not super competitive (unless we're playing scrabble). My girl's passions and gifts are not wrapped up in sports... She loves books, theatre, music, art, the library, museums, worshipping God, and all things creative. She's................. different. And I LOVE IT!!! I celebrate it! Go Emily!!! You are amazing girl!
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